Just don't know anymore...

So much has gone down recently, memories haunt me, bad history threatens to repeat itself, and of course, I have to look after myself. Cause who else is?

I can't complain, I have an amazing family, and friends who I couldn't and would never trade in. But the person who I was threatens to interrupt my happy summer. And though I'm the best ignorer EVER, I can't shake the feeling that I'm ... being followed by bad luck fairies.

NO, I won't do this. I'm having the best summer at the moment.

So, here we go. A summer. Hopefully work, play, beach, bbq's, family, friends, salsa, pubs, dads cooking and maxi dresses :)

I love life... and I need to focus on this fact for now.

Peace out, you sons of bitches. x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

1 year ago today you left, I miss you Nan.

When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
And there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
But I would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
No doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret.
Though winds of change are throwing wild and free,
You ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
To make you feel my love

I'm back, and it's beautiful...

Why live in a city when you have all this??

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

For Miss Cooky Wooky..

My top ten men!

10. Bradley Cooper... SO hot in A team

9. Buble...

8. ... SO embarrassing, but...

James Marsden... he's frikin adorable!

7. Will Schuester :)

6. David Boreanaz...

5. Channing...

4. Johnny... :P

3. two words... R- Patz

:)

2. Hugh Jackman... er, he's Wolverine, can sing and tips water over himself in Australia.

1. The One - Gerard :)

... It started in Phantom...

My love for the older man... = GERARD!

I'm turning 20 this week.. leaving my teens in style!

Though its not my 21st... You gotta love 20. On the 11th I will leave my teens, and I'm embracing growing older.

Last night I had an epic night with my Weston buddies. I love them SO much!

I think back at what I've achieved over my 20 years.

1. Was born, very late and very little. Learnt to walk, talk and have done little else since. :)
2. moved from Butchery to Hillfield
3. Started nursery
4. Started being awesome.
5. Started primary, had first kiss (was a girl! will always remember that...)
6. Of course, always had Gem, my bessie :)
7. Had my last year in Stoke Gabriel... got a taste for singing and dancing.
8. Moved to Totnes, stayed in old primary school.
9. Had first boyfriend / kiss with a boy.
10. Moved to Grove primary school, and continued having boyfriends.. also started TAF acting classes.
11. Moved to kevicc - SCARY AS HELL!
12. choirs :) grew boobs.
13. Started (wrongfully) liking older men, and hanging out with older people... started drinking alcohol.
14. The year I was in Joseph, and met some of the best people in the whole world!
15. Year 11 . . . lordy. Passed GCSE'S.. started singing lessons.
16. left secondary, but was going to go to sixth form in the same place. All with awesome buddies by my side.
17. 17... wow. sixth form, loves, hates, mistakes... IDYLLWILD! :) saw my first west end show, les mis.
18. Left sixth form, 2 A'S and a C, D cup boobs and no clue what I wanted to do... saw the Lion King :) a loved one left and went to heaven.
19. Worked for a year... got into uni, Make ups, break ups and life lessons, D cups, left home. Met the best people in the world. Learnt how to urge. DD CUPS. another loved one loved and left. (I miss you everyday Nan). Learnt to appreciate everyone... got very scared, very sad, enthusiastic, euphoric.
20. Had an amazing birthday. am still learning lessons in life / love / drinking / dieting and fashion. Love everyone in my life, and on occasion, out of it. EE cup boobs. Size 12 dress :)

What a 2 decades it has been! Let's make this next decade amazing!

Legend of the Week...

This is a recurring competition with various peoples from college, it is open to anybody really, but it started out with these seven...

but NOW!!! THERE ARE SO MANY PLAYERS!!

It basically is a quiz and whoever gets the most answers right wins, or this week 2 people won... Ben Carden and Richard Gittins. They then get a gift woohoo!!!

and then it carries on, but previous weeks winners can;t re-enter for another week. It's a way for me to show people I love them, and bring fun in this dingy town.

Who will win after reading week?

dooo dooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

x x x x x

this is smoph reporting on baggy aka Bagheera..

Bloggers, not gonna lie, recent events have been fine.. Various films have inspired blogs but alas I've little to inspire me..until Bagheera came into my life. He is my new blackberry. The thing with blackberries is tht they.. Rock :p u have facebook and twitter apps, u have internet and blackberry messenger and instant photo uploads. Bar eating and shopping I have little purpose to be off my stunning pocket panther.. :) x x x x x x

Good enough...

Under your spell again
I can't say no to you
crave my heart and its bleeding in your hand
I can't say no to you

Shouldn't have let you torture me so sweetly
now I can't let go of this dream
I can't breathe but I feel

Good enough
I feel good enough for you

Drink up sweet decadence
I can't say no to you
and I've completely lost myself and I don't mind
I can't say no to you

Shouldn't have let you conquer me completely
now I can't let go of this dream
can't believe that I feel

Good enough
I feel good enough
its been such a long time coming, but I feel good

and I'm still waiting for the rain to fall
pour real life down on me
cause I can't hold on to anything this good
enough
am I good enough
for you to love me too?

so take care what you ask of me
cause I can't say no

I didn't write this, Amy Lee did. However, it's a heartbreakingly true song... a lot of people feel like this every day.

YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH... we all deserve the best.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx PEACE OUT XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Recent / future cinema trips

More, pictures and ratings.

My favourite film I have currently recently seen... funny, sad, dramatic, sweet, heartbreaking... 9/10.

Dear John... Grrr. 4/10.

So- so without Mickey Rourke, Scacrlett Johansson makes little impact...

Downey Junior... fleh.

8/10.. awesome effects, and wait til the CREDITS END. Me and my best friend totally wet ourselves... with excitement!!

Blogging is more fun when MARVEL is involved...

Now, take note, I don't mean...

I meaaaaan...

Now, as I probably have mentioned, I love these comics very much in the metaphysical bum. And after just seeing...

I almost wet myself with joy... Not only are they (most def prob) gonna make a THREE!!! They also (spoiler alert) have revealed that there is going to be a film about THIS guy...

For those of you who are a tad retarded, that is THOR. You know 'by the hammer of THOR...' NO???

Anyway, so this is great news, Thor has a lovely hammer.

And also, revealed by a prop in Iron man 2, there will be a film about this guy as well...

This picture makes him look a BIT gay. But thats captain america dude. He's odd but not gay... I disagree with the actor choice, but meh.

SO, with these amazing films in the pipeline it IS conclusive, necessary, mandatory and VITAL that they make a film of....

the AVENGERS!!!!! oh my life...

Peace out... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx