Avatar...

Is a bunch of horny blue people who love a bit of a battle and trees.

Yeeeah.

So...

To conclude.

Lol, I haven't even started and I'm concluding.

Well today has been a bit of a failure before it started. Well..
Ok, so I rose successfully from bed at half nine (ON a sunday. I should get a fricking medal)
then to shower, where i discarded the need to wash my hair, as ridiculous amount of hairspray from last night rejected the need to wash it... <3 hairspray.
Then to get ready. The girls most crucial part of the day. you have a lot to think about, whats the look you're going for, who's going to see you, and most importantly, how you want them to see you.
So I, out of sheer not bothered-ness, plumped for yesterdays vest top with a little cardi, jeggings (as always) and boots. I smunched my hair with yet more hairspray and put on my nerd glasses for sophisticated ness, combined with a hair bow which is J-Pop cuteness :) Pulling on my boyfriend blazer and saying goodbye to my mother, ignoring my brother for his bitchy comments yesterday and set off into the morning sunshine, which felt lush, I set off for my train.

I walk the 20 mins til the top of Totnes... and run into an ex. Jesus, could I be any more unlucky? I come down for one night and bump into the one guy I really don't want to... no offence to him, but the feeling of seeing him is like being repeatedly poked in the face by an ex bloke poking thing.

So after the awkwardness I walk to Superdrug to buy make up, then to Morrisons to say goodbye to my dad. He hints that he'll lend me some money, but I refuse it.
WHY did I do that? i could've have had a weeks food...

And then to the train. First half is fine til I change at Taunton, where the cold has spread and I'm freezing my ass off. Then get on the train to Weston and three guys who smell like crotch sweat and weed come sit right by me. I got chocolate on my clothes so I change when I get back to the flat, into a cute dress I haven't worn in a while... so every cloud I guess. Then make a kick ass omelette... before revelling in the amount of awesome actors in 'State of Play'... only thinking that it's a shame Ben Affleck is in it.

Now back, ready to go to the cinema, do 2 rehearsals and finish my prompt book by tomorrow, which I'm sure will be a horrible day. Lol. Boring and negative day so far. Looking forward to watching Nine... Daniel Day Lewis in a musical? Should be an experience.


Peace out. xxx

I love life!!!!

Gigs are sooooo fun...

example one:



You get to have fun with awesome people like monsieur RUUUT-her.


example 2:




You kindle better fwendships with lovely girlies like Miss Mac here




3: You get lush photo ops.


4:

You look HOT!!! (Oh wait thats me...)

Lol. Peace out you old buggers, top night 29/1/10 xxxxxxxxx

Today I love...

ADVENTURE and the spur of the moment.

That I have had very vivid, nice dreams this week and that last night I had the dream I always wanted!!

I'm always welcome and loved in Devon... YAAAY.

Hannah Baxter Freeman. :) and of course, Jazzy Spazz Pooo.

Mum and Dad.

How I can never cook pain au chocolat correctly.

However, I'm going to need to buy better headphones before train journey.

Peace out... PS. Jamie Ruther stole my blog sign out phrase!!!

Remaining Neutral

You gotta love.. being in the middle sometimes. So many times have I been in a firing line for having an opinion... and yeah, thats always going to happen.

BUT I will not deter from loving the power of silence. It can make everything so much easier.
So for arguments sake, lets say a friend bitched about another friend. You can have three scenarios ...

1. Side completely with one friend and be honest about it

2. Do the lame thing and bitch equally between the two... this isn't cool. So many people do it, and its the definition of BITCH.

3. Shut the fuck up!

And from now on, I vow to devote my life to number 3.

And now for the main event. 'It's not you, it's uni.'

I have thought of writing this for months since a certain gent upped and left me... but its all in the past, yadda yadda. I can feel dislike towards him but I see his reasons.
University in the 21st Century... its fun, its dirty, its dishonest.
Seriously.
I mean, I have, as many 'teenage' (God I hate that word) girls have, a standard awesome net of friends. And I safely say that 75% of them have not had successful university long distance relationships.

But why? Well, the lure of alcohol at student prices and raves and 'bops' and 'Carnage' all spell Y-E-S to the average student, where in my and my poor lovely friendies books it spells 'Bye Bye Partner.'
So now we are faced with the problem. The poor fuckers who think it's THEIR fault! Its not. Sure, maybe you had problems. But, it's not you, it's uni.
Uni is a place that was once considered one of the highest academic circles to be in. Now every bugger can get a degree... but the aspect that most appeals to students is the nightlife. Not the future promise and grades you will receive.
Whats more, universities know this. Bars and pubs know it. Shops know it. Hence, student discount.
So when one is faced with a predicament, your boyfriend or girlfriend is now gone. And something tells you its not going to end right because you're home and they're at a bar on Freshers week. Unless you're engaged or you know the place is boring, or the person will come home as often as he/ she can to visit, cut and run. Or even if you don't, and they end it with you... it will have been because they want freedom. You're still beautiful /handsome/ gorgeous/ fun/ good in the sack... you just don't include glowsticks and free shots.
Those of you who read this and think the worst of me, trust me, I wouldn't be writing it if I didn't care. Not all situations are the same, but I've lived my experience, and I'm sick of others being heartbroken over theirs.


more another time on that!

All Hell Has Broken Loose.

Its really not going to be a good result...

What do you do when the mind is a muddle and you can't focus on your true opinion??

And more importantly, what do you do when that feeling ultimately makes you feel helpless?

Can I make sense pished?

So I went out and got suitably legless... and now want to cry. I shouldn't though, everythings fine. you know when you just get that urge to???

I won't, but its the thought that counts.

Something to rant about drunkenly for at least another five minutes...

Karaoke!!!! Yeah baby. I rocked some Guns N Roses earlier... with actual good vocal quality. However, my rendition of Sweet Child got song raped by my dear Jamie's Welcome to the Jungle. I mean I love the guy, but I could so eaasily have gone 'NOB HEAD!!' Very loudly. But NO I was lovely and obliging as always. No we're all good. Me and Jamie are like 'THAT' (indicates two robots fondly moshing). Other people on the love list... Emma T, Charlie Mac, Allie (Donner) White, Mur Sweeney, and most definately Roberto the DJ.

Java Automatic Updates really need to stop bugging me. What do they ACTUALLY do???

Band suggestion, any of you with a weakness for slutty girl punk check out Bikini Kill. One of their songs is called 'I like Fucking'... which is lovely. Everyone loves a good old rogering.

My question for this evening... Are you a pancake or a profiterole? She replied pancake, like me. God love Rosa, she's very sad because Miss Kris Whiting is jollying off tomorrow. Bless her. I wish her luck in all her life.

I wrote this whilst very drunk. All is good is drunky land. Tomorrow I will print an extract from a book I'm writing.

Peace out XD xx

Scraped knees and ready for a gig.. `

I think the scary thing about consistently playing ball games for warm ups, is that I may actually stop being a woman...

Seriously. Like, one day when a friend asks me something, I may readjust my crotch whilst replying... what a horrifying thought.

Like today, for example... I was persecuted with a fairly hard hitting football, before having it scuff me under the ankle... result in me tripping, falling and skidding a good metre on my tits. Having one already fairly mangled knee which is swollen currently, the other supposedly healthy knee is now grazed and bled through my jeggings (which I believe to be the only real crime of the situation).

Now THAT is reassurance that I am still a woman. The fact that I only really care about staining my staple denim looky likey booty hugging necessity.

But if by next year I'm a size 20 and go by the name of Helga we know something has gone wrong...

Anyway. I've been shopping like a naughty girl and bought my very first boyfriend blazer, bought a size or two larger than necessary for funky punky baggy look. Along with this BARGAIN I got 20% off some very cute punky shoes / sandals. These will both be worn to the gig my friends are playing in tonight... I'm very excited, but mustn't get too drunk.

Back tomorrow with more life and loves (Oh my god I've got it bad) of Smoph.

Keep on reading. Peace out.

Fat is just a word

And I'm not fat, I'm metoboli-cally challenged.

Bollocks to it. Is it so wrong to thinking that at a size 14 I'm a bit of a hottie?

(No, its not, in fact more people should think it.)

However, in trying to snare my beloved, I'm willing to diet.

Ho hum.

First blog... a rant and then a poem.

Complaining about the state of the world could be an interesting start to a blog... however, I'm not really into that. I would very much like to consider some pish political headline, or talk about world peace or global warming.

I can't bring myself to. When the world gets me down, I watch sci-fi or action films. Cause they fuck up the world worse than we are...

But with kick ass dialogue and aliens = big grins all round.

Today I was with my best friend, (eep, I think he's my best friend, at my college anyway), and we watched Star Wars to the sound of 'Walking on Sunshine' by Katrina and the Waves. Totally hilarious watching things explode on the 'HEY!'s or on the cymbal crashes.

So, the confession for today (drum roll please) ... I am a total sucker for geeks/ nerds. They emit some kind of 'Smophatractor' beam. I really can't resist a good nerd. It helps if they don't looked like they hatched at birth of course. Any talk of lightsabres or protoplasms... I'm drooling (at the mouth, you dirty bastards).

Anywahey. I have had a nice little rant. I've also written a poem. It's about someone I'm in love with. And the poem only really makes sense if you read it out loud. It's quirky, like the underwear I'm sitting in.

This is all we have

Here and now

Wide open spaces

Small worlds and wide faces.

This is all we have

Now and then

Big burly boys

And bitchy thin girls.

Loving themselves and hating the world.

The calorie

and the memory

Drinking to change

Drinking to die

Losing the spectacular sparkle

In their eye.

This is all we have

Sitting back nice

Watching the world

We sit back and laugh

This is all we have

...

Wait, you're gone again

I don't think I'm ok

Though you haven't gone far.

This is all we have

A text comes on my phone

I'll see you tomorrow.

So there's an end to my sorrows

But I overeat anyway.

Munching chocolate to pass the day.

No wonder you don't love me.

This is all we have.

So lets make the most of it.

Hug me longer.

kiss my lips for the first time

Know who you are when you read this rhyme.

Forget the fat and I'll get thin

Let me know you, let me in.

Touch my face when you tell me its ok

Hold my hand as we walk

Every night I swear I'll pray.

I'll pray you sleep well, no nightmares, no bad dreams.

I'll make my face prettier than it seems.

I'll let you think of her, but think of me more.

I'll never do what she did.

I'll never be her.

Oh.

I'll never be HER.

'i will never let you fall, I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven.'

It's ok. I know. It's all a dream.

But

There's a chance. And thats good enough for me.

Night night bloggers. XD Peace out.